Gays in the Military: A Lesson in Understanding

“Gays in the Military” has been the hot topic just about everywhere i’ve looked the last couple of weeks.  Like so many other things, I think that people miss the point on this one.

Christians get side-tracked into a debate about homosexuality and most everyone else gets overly anxious about protecting rights.

unfortunately, this topic does not come down to either of these.

The US military exists to protect borders, keep peace generally help nations in crisis. (I’ll leave the ‘make politicians money’ for another day.)

so, under the “good”, “better”, “best” objective model, what policy best accomplishes that mission?  I believe this debate has gotten distracted by theory vs. practicality, i.e. utopia vs. reality.

THE UTOPIC VIEW:
every person regardless of temptation should be able to serve together, setting aside their temptations for the purpose of a greater cause. the utopic view would call us to embrace …one another and accept each other where we are with our own struggles as they exist rising in unity to build one another up and trusting the brotherhood bond that recognizes we’re all in this together.

that’s utopia!

REALITY VIEW:
now, for reality…the interesting thing is that you’re thinking that the person facing temptation referred to here is the homosexual. while that could be true, i think we’re overlooking the temptation of the straight soldier who is tempted to judgment and fear. by “fear”, I don’t mean a “fear” of becoming homosexual, nor a general fear of homosexuals. ironically, i mean a fear of the same general discomfort that most women experience every day while walking down the street or through the office, whether the fear is justified or not. the fear of unwanted advance, the discomfort of being goggled by someone by whom they wish not to be goggled….whether or not they are actually being goggled, we’re talking “fears”.

the problem is that men are afraid of themselves. we know how we act toward women and we fear that homosexuals (men) will act the same toward us.

so, we don’t want them in the shower with us; we don’t want them in our bedrooms with us and generally we don’t want to walk down the halls past their gazing eyes (which we just “know” are lusting after us) for “FEAR” that they are doing to us what we have done to women for centuries.

Additionally, we simply do not understand their situation. Most men at times in their life have been tempted toward lusting after women, most men have been tempted to steal, hate, fight, be famous, etc. We all understand that. But, fewer men have been tempted toward physical homosexuality. Therefore, it’s not something most men can, nor want to, identify with.

guys will sit and talk about having sex with (insert actress or model name here) or they’ll fantasize about pulling off the next great train robbery or assassinating a world leader; but, most guys will not sit and talk about having sex with each other.

it’s not something we identify with and therefore we do not understand.

the net result is a general lack of trust in relationship. that’s reality. there is not a person alive that would want to put their life in the hands of someone that on the prima facie:
- they don’t understand
- they don’t trust
- they can’t identify with

simply put, they don’t know how they’ll act because they cannot understand them.

does any of this “justify” not having openly homosexual men in the military? NO! it’s not “justified”; however, does it make it “impractical” to have openly gay soldiers in the military sharing housing in a military that is overwhelmingly straight in today’s world with today’s circumstances? ABSOLUTELY!

For the men that have come to understand that homosexual men are no different than themselves, i.e. broken people struggling with the same issues they do, there is no problem having homosexuals in the same quarters as them. However, for most men, it’s too much of an unknown to trust their life with - which i respect.

THE IRONY
the basic numbnut question is this; however, would we be “OK” housing men with women? or having them shower together? If the US government came out today and said that “In an effort to save money, we’re consolidating military quarters. women will have to live with men?” There would be public outrage. most Americans would see the flaw in forcing women to be quartered with men.

psychologically, putting homosexual men (the men in the scenario) in the same quarters with straight men (the women in the scenario) creates the same dilemma for the straight man….right or wrong.

so, the irony is that men find themselves battling with a fear of objectification and respond to it similarly to women and therefore are not “comfortable” with homosexuals in the same quarters….because they, the straight guys, feel like “girls”.

(that’s kind of funny…)

so, in the end, “should open homosexuals” be able to serve in the US military? YES! Is it practical for today’s military? NO!  The irony is I am arguing that openly gay individuals should not be in US military because generally “straight men” cannot handle it and it presents a “weak link” problem for our military.

how do we get there?

Until society at large, not a guy here or there, is ready to accept that we are all sinners struggling with similar issues, it simply will not work. Men in the military need to be challenged judge themselves first, to be real about their own weaknesses and be able to identify with their fears of homosexuals through their own struggles with lust and how they look at women.

Credibility

Wednesday I was sitting in a restaurant in Tampa.  I was SHOCKED when I looked at the television screen to see Gene Simmons talking from the NYSE.  I thought, “What in the world can Gene Simmons have to say about the market; and, honestly, WHO WANTS TO KNOW?!”

It’s not that I have anything against Gene Simmons.  My issue is that Americans have degraded themselves to consuming life changing information the same way we do cheeseburgers.  We want something that we don’t have to think about.  Celebrity informants do that for us.  They give it to us “our way”, comfortable, with a smile and not requiring any thought.

As a society, we are so easily directed by mass culture.  We lose our identity in the status of those with whom we associate, or wish to associate.  We fail to think for ourselves.

Our childhood idols become our advisers in our adult years.

It scares the crap out of me.  There will be a day when the Olson twins motivate a voting public.

Isn’t it time we demand more ?